Long Distance Call

At the sound of your sweet sexy voice coming across the lines,

Miles it seems and imperfections

In such desperation not having you near you say close the blinds

Now find a quiet spot our favorite in the couch section

Turning up the fire, you say now there is nothing to fear

My heart thumps as so loud I swear the angels in heaven could hear

Dont think they should if we are about to do what I think

I crumble helplessly the way you whisper my name

Oh baby how I wished you were really here

I tremble with thoughts, my body shakes with desire, lower I begin to sink

My blood runs hot, my fingers run down oh God I am never going to be the same

My body jumping in places I never knew existed

Longing to crawl into the cold reciever feel your hands you whispering in my ear

Awaiting to be in your arms, feel your kiss

I close my eyes you want my hands to explore I move them south I cannot resist

I hear your commands, I obey the wetness I feel, oh God why arent you just here

It feels as if you are right there, whispering my name begging for more, oh you know what I want to hear

The hot energy through the lines could our passion melt it as we race through

So lost in ecstasy I am in tune only with you and your words on me

Whispering to me cant hold on much longer I need to hear you explode so I can with  you

I can almost feel your warm breath on my neck as it gets closer oh the naughty things you must do

My hands are your hands as they grab my breasts oh baby please

The sweetness of your kiss, wild and untamed

Awakening this animal urge in you, oh the things we do to one another

My hands ache to touch the softness of your lips rubbing the smoothness of your bald head

I remember the glimpse of your loving eyes as you whisper my name

In desperation we crave and yearn each other

Remembering your scent how your kiss taste

The sweetness of your skin oh baby please go ahead

Remembering how we were flesh against flesh so close to you the miles fall away

All I want is you

Needing your body next to mine

Screaming out releasing the passion begging you not to stop just stay

Feeling the depth of the love you give the love you do

Our breaths blend our souls touch the tears fall oh my God I never felt this way

Even the long distance of this call cannot restrain the passion we feel

Miles seperate but oh this love's expression we just exploded upon one another

Cant imagine loving anyone else this way, cant wait to see you again

We fall exhausted in the bed dreaming of this embrace oh baby this is so real

Passion so fierce we will just attack each other

Burn a hole right through the floor oh baby cant wait this ulitmate lovers sin come on in

Forever Foe or Friend

Friends for so long almost ten years ago we met

You always excited me I hadnt even laid eyes on you in person yet

Always wanting more but I was never the one, or pretty enough for you

Think I was always in love with you, you in search of what was true

Through the years it was hit and miss

Truth be told I would die for a kiss

Thinking back to the boy I met when he was in the Northern Light

How grown up you are wished we would have made more of that one night

Through the years, we ve stayed in touch I guess we will always be better as friends

I dont think there is a chance you would ever love me in the end

Wished I knew what was going through your mind

Mixed feelings I bury just to be with you this time

Just wanted you to know no matter you are my best friend and you have the biggest piece of my heart

But I'd rather have you as my best friend than be lovers and you leave never another word with a broken shattered heart

Tears of Blood

I know no one really reads this probably but found something from my past when I was in a really bad place, kinda hit me today....

.....I have cried so much from the pain my life has dealt
You would to had you known the depth of pain I felt
Not sure you could understand even if you tried
Bet you cannot even consume the amount of tears I cried
Life was a bed of roses, but already whithered and the thorns around the buds
The day in my life when my tears turned to blood
No longer water for I was all cried out
The emotional wrecking, my flesh ripped apart I was inside out
Could not stop the bad things got to be more unbarable even to everything and everyone I cared about
The tears of blood began to stain my skin
Tears of hate, words of anger,and anguish could it stain my soul deep within
I hate the words the ugly thoughts sometimes its like a demon lashing almost speaking in tongues
Worse than bullet through the brain, a knife through my heart, a repeated song that is over sung
The evil man whom this hatred is for, he still holds on her dreams, her life, her words ; never heard an unexpected end unfolds
Hard to forgive the man who took your innocence away everything lays buried deep inside
Wishing she never remembered the horrible things, never to speak, hear or see of this pain all she has left if her pride
Begging God for release of this hell
Wanting him to burn there as well
Wondering if she would ever have faith
Or stay demented and full of disgrace
She did things no man woman or child should bear
If they knew could they do more than stare
She made amends with the man upstairs
A wise old woman said only you can take yourself there
Tears of blood you shall shed no more
She said everyone is worthy of heavens glory doors
Sobbing so hard, does she deserve this love or any at all
Wondering still would the tears of blood return to haunt her once again
What would happen from beginning to end


Something I would never wish upon no one and anyone who has been there understands....

Dear Diary....

Today I had the most amazing day dream about my baby, we were trying to find a place to be alone we ended up at place like lovers point we had this music playing that just set the mood, I remember one song in my dream by Foreigner "I Wanna Know What Love Is" I could hear it playing over and over. Knowing how much I loved this man all I wanted him to do was show me. It felt like we hadnt made love in ages. He hadnt kissed me in forever. We parked in this place, and I felt him kissing me, him biting my bottom lip, and kissing my neck, biting me a little more. I felt his hands inside my shirt and all I wanted was his mouth all over my chest. His hands, and his mouth was caressing my breasts, I felt the strength of his hands as he cupped them, running his fingers over them I was arched back feeling so lost in his touch. I could stand no more I kissed him softly and made my way down on him showing him I missed him I knew he was feeling it, somehow my pants disappeared his hand had found this warm wet place and his hand, his fingers made it even wetter. I felt like he was going to explode so I stopped and kissed him. I slid on top of him I felt the length of him overpower my body. We got so lost in each other, kissing him, him holding me up close to him as we move with the rhythm of the music. It was such an incredible feeling. Then I opened my eyes because he texted me, thought we could replay what was in my mind today it didnt happen that way just all frustrated and nuts now...

Dear Diary,

I have been waiting at all costs to talk about this but if I dont get it down it may never come out, I have been going through something for quite some time. I have had multiple miscarriages not sure what is wrong with, the doctors say I am normal that I should have no reason of carrying a child since I have had a child already, but still nothing comes to mind as to why I cannot have this again. I asked the doctors over and over should have my boyfriend tested they said if he is getting me pregnant then the problem doesnt lie with him, its me. Which now makes me feel like such a failure. He to the point of doubting me, which hurt worse than getting my heart ripped out with a spoon, pretty sure we have moved passed that point, now they have me on horomones for a couple that has sent my sex drive even more through the roof, god the dreams I have had, and beside myself because I am naturally a nympho around him anyway. I am just wondering what happens now, do I have a baby do I not? What is making me this way? The stress of us not being together? Not sure what it could be. Any thoughts?

“I cannot exist without you - I am forgetful of every thing but seeing you again - my Life seems to stop there - I see no further. You have absorb'd me. I have a sensation at the present moment as though I were dissolving... I have been astonished that Men could die Martyrs for religion - I have shudder'd at it - I shudder no more - I could be martyr'd for my Religion - Love is my religion - I could die for that - I could die for you. My creed is Love and you are its only tenet - You have ravish'd me away by a Power I cannot resist.”   
―      John Keats

 

Can the love of one person be quoted as a religion, can the love of one person make you feel new heights of evolution? Finding one person that would literally make you float off the ground and do things you would never think possible? Love making you feel as though nothing else exists but you and him.

Personally speaking I can say I feel I have found this kind of love. Loving someone so much, despite the differences we have, despite the distance that seperates us from being as one sometimes, when we are together it is like heaven and the earth moves, mountains peak higher. It is such an amazing feeling.  I believe in heaven and hell, I have seen and felt to much not to, my partner however does not, wondering if that will ever change, but the love he makes me feel forgets all else. I pray all the time, I am not sure he does, but I know the love we have grows so deeply that he is buried so deep within my soul, it is there that only he and God dwell.

I have to believe God is the one who made this love possible. I have waited so long. How else could it be possible?